


Deadly Wishes

by Letssurvive



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Dead Sam Winchester, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Platonic Sam Winchester, Torture, Traditions, Witch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2019-10-21 06:06:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17637230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letssurvive/pseuds/Letssurvive
Summary: Of all the things that could have happened and the wishes I had, I never expected this to be the outcome...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a first person view story that was originally writen with an O/C but I wanted to tweak it for posting, let me know if there was anything I missed.

“Kill me.” The sentence was simple and directly to the point. The man, no the killer, standing in front of me slowly turned around to face me instead of walking away as he had obviously planned to do. Green eyes calculating as he searched my face for more meaning, his lips now turned down more than they had when I first approached him, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Excuse me?” His voice was full of surprise and astonishment but also carried a hit of boredom.

“I said, kill me.” It was a sentence I don’t think I had the strength to say again and I was slowly losing the nerve I had built up inside me as he looked away chuckling almost darkly with what I assumed to be detachment and humor.

“I heard you,” He took a step toward me and I fought the urge to take a step back as he did as a semblance of fear creeping into the back of my mind. “I’m just trying to figure out who you are, coming hear asking for me by name, and demanding I help you with something only for you to ask me to kill you,” He took a few more steps and I couldn’t control the urge to back up any more as he straightened to his full height, shoulders drawn back to broaden his frame in an intimidating manor. “Now there is a few things that come into my mind when you say something like that, along with the fact you _knew_ my name, and I can tell you none of them are good so I suggest you start speaking fast.” He finished in a low voice as my back hit the wall of the small automotive shop while he stood a few feet away from me.

“I need you to kill me,” I swallowed closing my eyes as what little resolve and façade I had left crumbled. “It’s the only thing that can be done where no one will end up hurt.” He chuckled as I opened my eyes.

“First off, you would be in a world of hurt, and secondly you are going to have to give me more information than that sweetheart.” He crossed his arms across his chest as he kept a blank stare fixated on my face and I swallowed again.

“You, you kill monsters,” I started and he glared at me as his hands tightened into fists. “I know you don’t like witches specifically, all I’m asking is that you kill one witch.” I breathed out shakily, looking down and closing my eyes as he took the last few steps towards me, grabbing the collar of my shirt and pulling me towards him as he did. I was scared and I knew he could feel me shaking as a few tears began to leak from my eyes and I turned my head away. This was finally it, the last part of my plan and I would be free of all my fears, and even though I was terrified with the prospect of dying I couldn’t help but be a little happy that the life I had lived was coming to an end.

“You’re a fucking _witch_?” He asked in a deep growl near my ear as I nodded, preparing for the pain that I was sure was soon to come. “And you’re asking me to kill you, hell if you had come up to me like this two years ago I wouldn’t have even _hesitated_ gutting you right here and now,” He trailed off confusing me as he pulled away and let go of me as my legs turned to jelly and I fell to the floor. I looked up at him as he backed away turning around and making to walk away as he continued. “Get out of here, I don’t like things like you hanging around town.”

I sat there in confusion for a moment before I scrambled to my feet casing after him. “Wait,” I cried out grabbing his arm as I did, I was surprised when he stopped and turned back to me his glare fixating on me once again. “Please, can you just kill me?” I cried out in desperation and he raised an eyebrow again mouth in a thin line as he took in my frantic state once again.

“Can’t you just leave me alone, I’m not going to fucking kill you alright?” He spoke trying to shake me off but I only held on more. “Why the hell do you want to die anyway?” I looked up at him as he seemed to have a genuine interest in my reasoning.

“I don’t want to hurt people,” I started pulling back from him as I released his arm, my eyes trailing down to the floor. “So please will you just kill me?” I begged as I looked back up into his eyes, they seemed to be debating on what to do but I could only hope he would chose to end my life.

“No.” He stated simply, and I threw my hand towards him causing him to fly towards the wall a grunt leaving him as he made contact with it, becoming pinned to it as I made a fist. He looked at me in a silent rage as he tried to move away from the wall, my grip only growing tighter as he did, before a bored look covered his face and he rested his head against the wall.

“Kill me or _I’ll kill you_.” I stated, letting my eyes glow a light blue color as I did to try and intimidate him but he only laughed.

“Go ahead and do it,” He mocked a smirk forming on his face as he did. “You and me both know you aren’t going to do it.” I let my eyes quit glowing as a frown made its way onto my face.

“Then how about I go and kill some of this town you’re trying to protect?” I smirked at him but he only laughed and looked away from me.

“Like I said, go ahead. We both know you aren’t going to do anything.” He challenged and I dropped my head into my hands, the man dropping from the wall, and I screamed in frustration as I did.

“Why won’t you kill me?” I screamed at him and he just brushed himself off a bit before making his way towards me and I took a couple steps back in fear again as he did.

“That,” he gestured towards my little defensive stance I had taken up at his movement. “That right there is why I’m not going to do a damn thing to you,” He shook his head before looking at me again. “I used to kill monsters, and sweetheart, there ain’t nothing about you that screams monster. You are just a scared kid.”

“I’m not a kid, I’m twenty four.” I cut him off and a glassy look crested over his eyes before he shook his head and continued.

“Still a kid to me, look I don’t know why you’ve come to me but if you want someone to kill you, you got to go find someone else. I’m not in that life anymore and I don’t plan on getting back into it by killing some young witch that wants to die, not really my style any way. Now will you leave before I call the cops to kick you out of my shop?” He asked walking past me to what I presumed was the door to his office, but I turned around to follow him instead.

“No, I’m not leaving until you kill me. I wouldn’t bother calling the cops anyway, yes I won’t kill them, but I can make them forget why they were here and make them leave,” I knew I was coming across as childish but it was the only other thin I could do, I just hoped if he and when he changed his mind I was still willing to die. “And I may not have the will to kill you but I can sure as hell try to annoy you to the point you will kill me.” I spoke as he reached for the door knob dropping his head as he did.

“How about we have a chat first and you can explain to me why the fuck you have tracked me down and are demanding I kill you,” He turned towards me as he opened the door and gestured for me to head inside. I wanted to hesitate but I reminded myself the worst he could do was kill me and that was exactly what I had wanted, I walked past him my heeled boots clicking on the floor as I walked by him and into the small office. I removed my black wrap coat and placed it over the chair as I sat down smoothing my skirt as I did. “So let’s start up with who the hell you are.” He spoke as he sat down behind the desk, leaning back and kicking his feet up.

“My name is (Y/n) Kyteler, as I told you I’m a witch,” I started slowly looking around the room trying to calm myself as he stared at me. “I come from a long line of witch’s dating back to the late twelve hundreds, and we have a tradition that in our twenty fourth year we must go out and kill a hunter. My family views it as a rite of passage and you must participate in it or be killed, I don’t want to kill anyone so my only option is to be killed.” I explained as the man removed his feet from the desk and sat up to lean with his elbows on the desk instead.

“And you tracked me down here rather than some active hunter, why can’t you just find someone else?” he questioned and I shook my head.

“There’s no one better than Dean Winchester, it’s the only way my family would believe I was actually killed,” I paused and he raised his eyebrow in silent questioning. “I am a rather powerful witch whether you believe it or not is completely up to you, and we have to go after hunters based on our own power. You are the one who killed the demon prince of hell Azazel, it doesn’t get stronger than that. My family would actually believe I tried to kill you rather than just trying to die.”

“If that’s the case why don’t you just run away?” Dean asked with what seemed to be a genuine interest and I had to look away.

“They would be able to find me and I would rather die by the hands of you rather than face the wrath and torture of my family.” I explained as I fidgeted with my hands as the fear of what they could do to me grew.

“Who said it would be a pleasant death if I did it? I could be worse.”

“No,” I shook my head tears falling from my eyes as I looked at him, concern gracing his features briefly before he replaced it with the indifferent stare from before. “I know the things my family can do and I know even if you tied me up, slowly inch by inch ripped the skin off my flesh and then carving into my bones it would be easier and less painful then what they would do to me if I tried to run away.” I wrapped my arms around myself closing my eyes as I finished, hoping he would show mercy and kill me.

“And who’s to say they don’t then come and do that to me for killing you?” He asked and I looked at him smiling sadly.

“They won’t touch you, it is part of the tradition. You go find a hunter and try to kill them, if you succeed you are a respected member of the family, if you die by the hands of the hunter then you were not worth being in the family. The hunter won’t be punished because it means they were stronger and they got rid of what would be deemed trash,” I took a breath and looked down at my lap. “That’s why it has to be you, you are a strong hunter and it is believable that you could kill me. Besides you get to kill a witch and you don’t have to worry about them coming for revenge.”

He sat there for a moment nodding as he processed what I had told him. Part of me wished that he would disagree but I knew that would not help me at all if he did, I needed him to kill me no matter how scared I was and how much I wished I didn’t have to die I knew it was the best and easiest way for me to go. I refused to kill someone and I didn’t want to follow the path of my family either. I smiled to myself thinking it was finally going to be over when he spoke again.

“No.”

“Wha- _what_?” I stuttered caught off guard by him completely and he just sat back in his chair watching me as I tried to process his response. 

“No, I’m not going to do it. You can find some other way to kill yourself but it’s not going to be by my hand,” My mouth hung open and tears returned to my eyes once again. “What’s stopping you from just eating a witch bullet anyway?”

“They would know.”

“ _So_?”

“There is a family spell, one that lets you resurrect the dead, they would use it on me if I did that and keep using it to kill and torture me in an endless cycle. That’s why you need to kill me,” I cried out, dropping my head into my hands. “It’s the only way I will ever know any peace.” It was silent except for my sobs until Dean spoke up.

“You have a spell that can bring back the dead?” I nodded in response and he looked at me with intensity in his eyes. “Do you know it?”

“Yes.” I spoke slowly and he got up walking around the desk and sat on the edge in front of me and I tried not to show too much fear as he did.

“Can you preform it?” I nodded in response not knowing what he was trying to get at. “I’ll make you a deal, do the spell and I will kill you.” It was not the proposition I was expecting but I was scared he was just trying to screw with me.

“It takes some time and very specific ingredients as well as other certain events, but if you promise to kill me after I can do it, that’s the only way I will do it.” He looked away nodding as he did.

“Then we have a deal.” He stood up and walked away as I scrambled grabbing my coat to follow him as he left the office.

“Wait, where are you going?” I asked as he grabbed keys from a lock box.

“I’m locking up, and then me and you are going to head out back to my place so we can get ready to get everything you need.” He spoke going around to each of the doors and locking them, turning off lights as he did.

“Back to your place,” I paused skeptical about what could happen before shaking my head, the worst he could do was kill me and that was what I wanted to happen. “Who do you want me to resurrect?”

“Does that really matter? You do it and I promise I’ll kill you, that is all you need to know right now. Did you drive here or take a broom?” He asked and I shook my head at the bad stereo typing I knew he was using jut to anger me.

“No.” I spoke closing my eyes, he was a hunter and knew all that riding brooms nonsense was fake and just old folklore to scare children, I was beginning to wonder if this really was going to be a good idea.

“Good we can take my car, what kind of stuff do we need to get anyway?” He asked taking off the coveralls he was wearing over a simple black t-shirt and a pair of jeans before hanging them up and heading to the back door and I ran to catch up with him.

“Well, for starters we need the body, a pint of virgin black goat’s blood, ashes of a possessed man, and the soul of who we want resurrected.” I spoke as he locked the door to the shop and headed to a sleek black car in the parking lot.

“That’s all?” He asked as he unlocked the car and we got in.

“That’s the stuff we need to get, the rest I can provide when we get everything,” I stated as he started the car and I put on my seatbelt. “There is more to it than just the ingredients, I have to draw the sigils and do an incantation, but I already know what to do on those ends so we just need to make sure we get everything else.”

He nodded as pulled away from the small auto shop and I couldn’t help but begin to feel a little worried. If my family found out I was using the resurrection spell they might get suspicious as to my death, I shook my head to clear the thoughts away. I couldn’t think like that, this was going to work and if it didn’t then I at least tried and that was better than nothing. I looked out the window as he drove us around the town in silence, the town looked beautiful as spring was setting in and the snow was melting and I closed my eyes. Hopefully soon this whole ordeal would be over and although I was sad with my up and coming death I couldn’t help but feel a bit at ease, after all I would be able to rest and not be living the lie I had grown up in. I was lost in thought and hadn’t noticed we stopped until the man who was soon to be my killer knocked on the window I had been staring out of, a scowl fixed on his face as I quickly moved to get out of the vehicle.

“You should be paying more attention,” He groaned as I closed the door to the car and followed him towards the small home. “Don’t get to comfortable, I’m just grabbing a few things before we head out.” I nodded as he opened the door and headed towards what I assumed to be his room.

I stayed back clanking around as I did, the living room was small and barren, only a couch and a TV with no personal touches to it. The walls were a faded white and the space looked like it had barely been used. As promised he returned rather quickly, two duffle bags tossed over his shoulders, he had also thrown on a flannel over his shirt with his jacket from earlier. He tossed me one of the duffle bags that I had barely managed to catch, before he opened up a closet in the hall and pulled out a small cooler. Disappearing into the kitchen I could hear him grabbing stuff from the fridge before he returned again and motioned to the door. I waited with him on the steps as he locked the place up and I followed him back to the car, sadly not before someone showed up walking up to the car smiling.

“Dean,” the stranger smiled glancing at me quickly before confronting the hunter. “You taking off?” Dean smiled patting the man’s shoulder as he loaded the bags into the trunk.

“Yeah, taking a little vacation,” Dean spoke and I raised my eyebrow, sure I could use my power and influence the man to leave but I didn’t want to do that when there could be possible witnesses, that and I didn’t want to do anything to make Dean back out of our deal. “Figured I’d close up shop early, besides not like I had any appointments anyway.” 

“Any plans on where you guys are going?” The man looked back over to me but before I could say anything Dean was beside me and flashed him a smile as he wrapped his arm around my waist as I tried not to jump away at the sudden contact.

“Nothing planed out yet,” Dean glanced at me and I could see the unspoken threat in his eyes as he did. “Just going to drive and see where it takes us.” I nodded as I leaned into him as he spoke trying keep up this _act_ as the stranger reached out his hand.

“Ah, sorry where are my manners. My names Bill,” I took his hand and slowly shook it. “Can’t say I’ve ever seen you around here before.” He trailed off as he glanced at my outfit, I was in heeled black ankle boots with black lace nylons, my black ruffled skirt reached my knees and my coat reached mid-thigh and I realised we must look like quite the pair. I was dressed in what some could consider was higher class attire while Dean was in work wear.

“You haven’t,” Dean spoke up for me before I could figure out a lie. “Krystal here is an old friend of mine from out of town.” I smiled and nodded at the man before turning and looking at Dean.

“We should really get going,” I turned back to Bill. “It was nice meeting you though.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” he nodded looking back to Dean. “I’ll keep an eye on your place for you while you’re gone.”

“Thanks Bill.” Dean waved as he closed the trunk and we made our way into the car, he started it up and we pulled away. I was silent again as we drove before I spoke up.

“We should stop somewhere.”

“Why?” he grumbled as he glanced at me.

“If we are going to be traveling together I should get some other clothes,” I started and he glanced at me again before I continued. “We shouldn’t be raising to much suspicion and as it is we definitely raise suspicion,” I gestured to myself and he nodded slightly. “Besides, this is all I have.”

“What?” he asked looking over to glare at me before turning back to the road. “You didn’t bring anything else?”

“It’s not like I was expecting to be around much longer,” I retorted. “I didn’t think I was going to be traveling anywhere else but to your shop.”

“You really didn’t think that through did you?” he asked pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No I did, I just didn’t expect a hunter to refuse to kill me. I didn’t think I was going to be around very long to need any more clothes.” I spoke softly looking out the window but I could feel his gaze on me.

“Well sorry for not jumping on the murder train,” he grumbled and I tried not to laugh. “I still can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Thank you,” I spoke as I looked back over at him. “I can tell it’s a lot to ask you, but thank you for killing me.” I was silent as Dean continued to stare forward as he drove. I could see on his face the struggle and reserve he had, this man did a lot of good for the world and very few knew about it and now here I was asking him to kill me. I knew for a fact this man wouldn’t have hesitated to kill me at one point in his life but now he obviously had second thoughts on the matter now.

“You shouldn’t be thanking me,” he glanced at me and I could see the war going on behind his eyes. “I’m only doing this to get someone back, I’m not doing it for you.”

I nodded looking out the window again and watching the world go by, soon I wouldn’t be a part of it, but I couldn’t bring it in me to fear it yet. Many in my family would torture me for even thinking of letting myself be killed, but I wasn’t like the rest of my family. I didn’t want to kill and manipulate the world, I just wanted to be a part of it, maybe help people and end suffering for those I could. It was something I knew none of them would understand. I was powerful, had been since I was a baby, but my power was greatly connected to life rather than death as the rest of my family. It only made me stronger than them, a power that grew with life instead of growing with death could be endless when combined with my own life rather than one of death being increased by death, it was a constant fuel for my own power. I could use magik when others had to stop, that was why my family valued my power, they just didn’t know of the morale’s I felt with it. Life was something valuable and shouldn’t be taken needlessly, and because it helped to fuel my power I felt the value in lives where my family valued the death. That was why I would rather be killed than kill someone, I was scared as to what that effect could have on my own abilities and if it would corrupt me. Even as we drove I could feel the life in forest as we left town, and it brought me peace. I didn’t know what would happen to me after death but I hoped because of my connection to life I would go to whatever heaven existed rather than to hell, but that would only be if my family let me die.

“So,” Dean started and I jumped before turning to him as he glanced at me. “How did you track me down?”

“A simple tracking spell, it took some time to actually find you though, I stayed in town for a few days as well,” he glanced at me again as I continued. “Had to make sure it was you before I went in.”

“So you had other clothes then?”

“Yeah,” I looked out the window again, relaxing in the seat. “Took them to a donation bin before I came to see you though, didn’t think they were going to be doing me any good.” At that Dean let out a long sigh and I turned to see him running his hand over his face as he did.

“Sweetheart, don’t be going and saying shit like that if you actually want me to kill you,” he grumbled. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to a witch,” he shook his head. “I haven’t killed anything in a while and I don’t want to get back into the life killing some _good witch_.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed again and I could tell he wasn’t helped by the phrase. “Where are we going?” I asked, hoping to get his mind off of the deal.

“Sioux Falls, I have an old friend there who might be able to help out with that ingredient list of yours. It’s going to be at least a day of driving, we can get you some other clothes when we get there.” I nodded looking out the window as we flew down the highway.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up as the car pulled off the road, I blinked and stretched in the seat as I looked around, our surroundings had changed and I had not realized when I had drifted off to sleep. Dean stayed silent as he got out of the car presumably to fill it up at the small gas station. Stretching again I got out of the car looking at dean briefly before going into the small store to relieve myself and get a few snacks.

By the time I was done Dean was back in the car quickly shoving something into his pocket as I opened the door getting back in. Dean started the car and pulled back onto the highway as I glanced over at the man. It was sometime after midnight and he looked tired as hell, I could even feel it coming off of him in waves, exhaustion written all over his face.

“Dean,” I spoke softly but he still jumped at the noise, glancing over at me quickly before his eye’s returned to the road, mumbling a ‘what’ as he did. “You look tired, do you want me to drive for a bit?” He huffed out a laugh and I frowned a bit at the noise.

“Funny, no way in hell I’m letting some _witch_ drive my _Baby_ ,” He glanced over shaking his head as he did, catching the look of annoyance on my face as he did before continuing. “I’m _fine_ , if I need to rest I’ll just pull over and have a quick nap. I’ve done trips like this countless times sweetheart.” He insisted but I could see the way his eyes were struggling to stay open as we drove through the town.

“At least pull over,” I looked a head and pointed. “There’s a hotel up there, I’ll pay for rooms if it means you won’t be on the road trying to keep your eyes open.” He let out a long sigh before slowing down and pulling into the parking lot.

“Fine,” He mumbled turning off the car before looking at me. “But we get one room,” I started to argue but he raise his hand closing his eyes and huffing as he did. “We get one room for a few reasons, first it would look weird to have you going in and paying for two separate rooms for us, and second I don’t want you trying to sneak away in the middle of the night. We made a deal and I sure as hell need you to do that spell. Besides you need me more than I need you by the sounds of it so we are going to do things my way or you can go find someone else to put a bullet in your head, are we clear?” he asked and I sank back into the seat as I turned my head away and nodded. “Good, now you go inside and get a room while I my bag from the back.” he grumbled as we both got out of the car.

My heels clicked on the pavement as I walked through the sliding doors walking up to the clerk. The man looked up at me and smiled as I reached the desk, feeling a shiver run down my spine as he did, the vibe this man was giving off felt creepy and I was hoping Dean wouldn’t take too long as I asked for a room, sadly they only had single bed rooms available and none had couch or other sleeping areas available. I took the key card paying quickly as I turned finding Dean walking through the doors, a scowl on his face and duffle bag slung over his shoulder, I walked to him quickly wrapping my arms around one of his and leaning into his side. He raised an eyebrow at the motion before glancing at the clerk, who now had a frown on his features as he turned back to his computer, Dean let out a slow breath his features softening a bit as we walked to the elevator in the position. 

“Thanks.” I spoke as the doors closed, releasing his arm and taking a few steps back.

“No problem,” he said before yawning, covering his mouth as he did. “If anything it’s repaying what I did back at my place.” I nodded as the doors opened and he followed me to the room.

“Still,” I smiled, opening the door to the room. “He gave me the creeps, but I’m not too worried. He seemed a little put off after you came in,” I noticed him glance at the bed looking around and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as he did. “They, um, only had single bed rooms available,” I spoke quickly looking away from him as he moved towards the bed. “You can take the bed, I slept on the way here so I’ll just-“

“No,” Dean looked at me cutting off my rambling as he sat on the bed. “We are both adults here, and besides you weren’t asleep for that long anyway. You’re going to need your rest as well,” He took his boots off before looking in his bag and throwing a shirt at me. “Get changed into that, sleeping in what you are wearing right now won’t be too comfortable.” He grumbled and I nodded slipping into the bathroom after I took off my own boots.

Thankfully Dean was much larger than me and the old black tee reached down to my knees, I folded my clothes before walking out finding Dean laying with his back propped up against the head board. He glanced at me briefly as I made my way to the opposite side of the bed, setting my clothes on the nightstand, and quickly made my way under the covers. Dean got up saying he was going to have a shower and I settled down into the bed, feeling my own sleepiness creep its way into my own eyes.

I woke up slowly, squeezing my eyes shut wishing for sleep to come back to me again, before I opened them and frowned at my surroundings before I felt movement behind me and an arm resting on my side. I turned quickly throwing my hand out as I moved off the bed, my power forcing the intruder to fly into the wall with a crash as they hit it and cried out in both shock and pain. I knew my eyes were glowing as I tried to process what was going on as the man looked back at me in shock and anger before I remembered the events of yesterday and last night. My muscles shook and I moved back against the wall dropping my hand, and Dean as well as he let out a yelp as he hit the floor, sliding down the wall as I calmed down from my shock.

“What. The. Hell!?” Dean ground out, getting up and glaring at me with rage in his eyes as he walked around the bed and over to me.

“I’m sorry. I just, I just got scared and forgot where I was,” I spoke quickly and fearfully as I tried to shrink as small as I could away from the man, causing him to pause his advance. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just scared.” I looked away calming myself down as I felt my power buzzing within me because of my emotions. Dean let out a long hard breath and I flinched away from him, before looking over at the man. He had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose as he obviously was trying to calm himself down before he lowered his hand and let out a breath.

“Calm down,” He opened his eyes and looked at me. “I can’t get mad at you for trying to protect yourself. Just try not to do it next time,” I nodded and he walked closer offering me his hand and I eyed it before he spoke again. “I’m not going to hurt you, we should get going here soon. We still have a few hours of driving ahead of us.” I took his hand shakily as I got up, straightening out the shirt and stepping back from him.

“I’m sorry.” I spoke looking away from him but still catching Dean roll his eyes before he turned and walked away.

“Quit saying shit like that,” I watched as he dug into his duffle bag again. “Just don’t do it again, unlike yesterday you packed more of a punch into it this time.”

“I was caught off guard unlike yesterday where I planned to do it.” I mumbled grabbing my own clothes as I walked by him into the bathroom. I shook my head as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, my usual wavy locks were a mess and looked more like a rats nest instead of hair and my eyes were still glowing a bright blue. I closed them quickly taking deep breathes before reopening them and revealing their regular (e/c) and my hair back to its usual look, one of the perks of being a witch was being able to use magic to look more presentable and get ready quick in the morning. I slipped on my clothes, leaving out the stockings I wore yesterday before I went back into the main room to find Dean already dressed as well, putting things back into the duffle bag as I passed him the shirt he had lent me.

“You didn’t take long to get ready,” he commented as he glanced at me briefly. “That’s good though, we can get out of here quicker.” I nodded looking away from him as he slung the bag back over his shoulder and made his way to the door as I followed him.

We walked silently to the car and I felt the need to apologize again for what had happened this morning but instead settled for another topic. “Do we want to stop for food now or grab something further down the road?” I asked as we reached the car. Dean threw the bag into the trunk before looking at me in thought before he closed it walking to the driver’s side of the vehicle.

“We will carry on, I know a good dinner not far from here that makes a mean breakfast. We’ll stop there unless you need something now.” I shook my head as we got into the car.

“I can wait, besides you are the driver so you make the calls right?” I stated more than ask and he chuckled a bit before looking over at me a slight grin on his face.

“You’re right, didn’t think you’d remember that topic from last night.” I looked away as he started the car not wanting to let him see the blush on my face.

“Let’s just get there quick, I want this to all be over before my family gets suspicious.” I felt the atmosphere in the small space change at my words as we pulled onto the highway and made our way out of town.

“Ok, then let’s get out of here.” Dean spoke roughly, the playfulness that was in his voice before now gone as I looked ahead watching us speed away towards my inevitable death.

* * *

The dinner Dean had spoken of was gone when we got to the town it had resided in, something Dean had grumbled about as I tried not to laugh at the look on his face because of the discovery, and we instead settled for to-go items from a local fast food joint and had continued on. It was a silent ride for the most part, only talking when it was needed and necessary, and it wasn’t long before we had reached the Sioux Falls welcome sign before I realized who we were going to be seeing. 

I had heard of Bobby Singer on multiple occasions and had even contemplated going to him to be my executioner, he had been present for the death of Azazel and had his own reputation in the world of monsters. Even though I wanted death I could still feel fear and was afraid of what would happen if I showed up on this man’s doorstep. It didn’t take long before Dean was pulling into the ‘ _Singers Wrecker_ ’ yard and I felt my heart beating faster. Dean parked the car and we both got out of the car while he looked around in a reminiscing kind of way, I could feel the happiness being here brought him but I felt the sorrow in it as well. I let Dean lead the way as we walked up to the front door and knocked, while I looked around and fidgeted. Dean raised an eyebrow opening his mouth to question me when the door opened revealing an older man, taller than me in my heels a scowl on his face as he looked at me, he turned to Dean a smile on his face.

“Dean?” he questioned and said man also broke into a grin.

“Bobby,” they moved in to hug each other as I stood back and watched the exchange. “Good to see you.”

“You too boy,” They pulled back as Bobby looked Dean over before swatting him on the shoulder, Dean jumped a bit more in shock than pain and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me at the sight. “Why in the hell haven’t you visited huh? You didn’t even bother to call and you show up here dragging some girl with you,” he glanced back at me before continuing. “I have to say I’m surprised she’s not pregnant. She’s not pregnant right.” I blushed at the notion and Dean looked shocked as well.

“No, at least I don’t think she is,” Dean looked over at me, slight worry on his face, and I shook my head and Bobby hit him again. “What was that one for?” he exclaimed.

“You have to ask her that? Didn’t I teach you better than that boy?” Bobby grumbled before turning to go into the house and Dean quickly followed him in, I looked around for a moment before going in myself.

“It’s not like that Bobby.” Dean walked in looking around and the old man sat back behind a rather large desk covered in many different lore books, many that I recognized from my own studies. Bobby watched as I walked into the room and going to stand near Dean.

“Then why are you here? And no offence to you sweetheart,” he spoke looking at me briefly. “But you show up bringing some girl with you, what am I supposed to think when I myself haven’t even talked to you in a few years?” Dean looked away it what looked like shame before he spoke.

“We need to get some things, I thought we’d stop by here and see if you had any of the stuff we needed laying around here.” He turned back to Bobby and I shifted slightly as the older man looked between us again.

“What kinda stuff do you need?” 

“A pint of virgin black goat’s blood and ashes of a possessed man.” I answered and I watched as realization seemed to cross over his face and before I knew it I heard a click from a gun being cocked and Dean moved to stand in front of me with his arms raised in a peaceful manner.

“Bobby put the gun away.” Dean spoke in a calm voice keeping me behind him as he spoke to the older man.

“Who or more like what is she?” He questioned and I took a deep breath before walking out and in front of Dean.

“My name is (Y/n) Kyteler, and I’m a witch.” I stood tall before Dean pulled me back behind him, grip rough on my arm as he did.

“Bobby put the gun away, you don’t need it on her,” Dean advised the man before turning back to me. “What the hell are you doing stepping out in front of me when there’s a gun trained on you?” he all but yelled and I sighed as I watched the older man put the gun down on the table.

“What do you think?” I looked up at Dean challenging him as I watched him deciphering my words.

“We have a deal.” He ground out but I couldn’t bring myself to fear the tone of his voice or the increasing grip on my arm, before I could speak Bobby cut in.

“What?” He all but yelled. “You went and made a deal with a witch? Dean have you lost your mind?”

“No,” Dean spoke roughly glaring at me before turning to the man and sighing. “I promised to kill her in return for her using a spell. That’s why we need ingredients.”

“So you made a deal to kill a witch, and not just any witch, but one of the Kyteler family in return for a spell? Boy do you know how crazy that sounds?”

“I know Bobby,” Dean ran a hand over his face, dropping it from my arm and I looked away from the men. “You know about the Kyteler family?” he asked in genuine interest and I sat down to listen to the old man’s knowledge.

“The basics I guess, they go out and kill hunters when they reach a certain age. Bunch of nasty son’s of bitch’s if you ask me,” he glanced towards me, eyeing me as he did. “But I don’t get why she hasn’t offed you yet in the first place.”

“I don’t want to kill people,” I decided to answer the question as it was cautiously aimed at me anyway. “I don’t want to be a part of my family’s bloodshed. So I went after Dean and demanded he kill me, something which he refused to do until he heard about my family’s spell I might add.” I watched as he processed the information and Dean stood there with his jaw clenched.

“And what spell might that happen to be?”

“A resurrection spell,” Dean spoke turning to face the man now. “She was using it as part of her argument to get me to kill her.”

“Dean, you can’t seriously be thinking on using it on-“

“I have to try Bobby, it has to work.” I could feel the pain from both of them as they spoke and I looked away, feeling it affecting me slightly.

“So you are using her? Why didn’t you just kill her in the first place?” Bobby argued and I watched as they both got more heated.

“Look at her Bobby!” Dean gestured to me and I looked between the two of them. “She’s twenty four, Bobby, twenty _fucking_ four. She’s the same age as he was before he was killed right in front of us. I got out of the life Bobby, got out and haven’t had too much come in the way since. But she came into my shop and demanded I kill her, I couldn’t do that. She’s just a kid for crying out loud,” I looked away in what I could only describe in shame as both men turned to look at me. “Do you see that, she was in my shop cowering when I was _walking_ to her. I couldn’t just kill her like that not when there is genuine fear, it’s not hunting, it’s just murder.” I couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them, not with the way Dean had described the situation. It was murder, I was asking him to murder me not just kill me, and that would be hard on anyone.

“So what, you said you’d do it for a price?”

“I said I would do it when she explained herself to me. Her family, as you know has that fucked up tradition, as well as a spell to resurrect the dead. She said that if they don’t participate in that killing event, then they get tortured until they die and they bring them back again and start the process over again,” he turned to me looking in my eyes as he spoke, and I felt the understanding in his gaze as he did. “She doesn’t want to be subjected to that but still doesn’t want to have to kill anyone,” he turned back to Bobby as he continued. “Doing it this way, we at least get something out of her death.” Bobby sighed running his hand over his own face.

“Well ain’t this some fucked up situation,” Bobby glanced at me as he thought. “Is what he’s telling me true? You going to use that spell for him in exchange for killing you?”

“That was the deal we made,” I looked out the window pausing for a moment before turning back to the men. “It’s the only option I have, at least some good will hopefully come out of it.”

“Well, I don’t have anything you are looking for. But I might know where you can find them,” Bobby sighed and I felt the smile creeping up on my face. “Still can’t believe you’re helping a witch.” He muttered to himself as Dean relaxed.

“Thanks Bobby, I owe you one.” Dean half smiled before turning to me, the look melted from his features and I felt the war of his own emotions as he did.

“Yeah, whatever. Like I could get rid of you boy. How about you make yourself useful and go into town. Pick up some beer while I make a few calls,” Dean turned back to the older man seeming to weigh his options before Bobby spoke again. “Go, I’ll keep an eye on her. Not like she needs it.” Dean nodded turning to walk away, but not before he stopped and looked at me.

“Don’t go anywhere, and stay out of trouble.” He whispered before leaving the house as I watched. Soon hearing the car start up and pull away at his departure.

“So,” Bobby started and I looked back over to him at the noise. “A Kyteler witch doesn’t want to take part of the family tradition,” Bobby trailed off, a look of questioning on his face. “What makes you rebel against the family way?” I looked away from the man and let out a long breath.

“I can’t bring myself up to killing anyone. Unlike the rest of my family, my power comes from life. I feel it when I walk in the forest and even busy streets. When people are feeling too much of any emotion or trying to hold that emotion back I can feel it in myself,” I looked back over to the man a sad smile on my face as I did. “I can’t call myself innocent though, I’ve had to attend and be part of rituals since I was young and the pain and emotion I feel when someone is killed I can never shake. It made me throw up the first time someone was killed while I was around actually,” I looked at my lap as I wrapped my arms around myself, the memory coming back to me easier than I would like. “My family was disappointed in the reaction but they didn’t know why it happened, I was young so they figured it was because of that. I can remember the day very clearly, all day I had this uneasy feeling in my gut regardless of how happy my family seemed. It wasn’t until night I understood why.

“They had this women tied down onto a table and the fear that came off her radiated off in powerful waves. It was worse though when they started the ritual, it felt like I was being stabbed when they killed her and it caused me to get sick,” I shook my head and looked at Bobby again, dropping my arms into my lap. “I had figured it out fairly quickly after that, and everything made more sense to me after. I had to pretend I wasn’t affected because of it after that and because I understood my power more, it got stronger,” a cross between understanding and respect was on Bobby’s face as I continued. “So because of that I can’t bring myself to kill anyone, regardless of tradition or not. That’s why I found Dean, I figured he would kill me without thinking twice but when I got there he-“

“He refused to do it,” Bobby sighed and I nodded. “That Boy has always had more of a heart then he lets on. I can’t blame him though, I may have pulled that gun on you but I can’t say I would have been able to pull the trigger.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Why?”

“As you said, you’re no killer,” he huffed with a light chuckle. “I saw it in your eye’s, you try to look tough and appear as the bad guy but you are nothing more than a scared girl looking for a way out of a shitty situation.” I smiled looking away from him as I did.

“You read me like a book.”

“Comes with experience in my line of work,” Bobby stated sadly. “I just can’t see why death is your only option here.”

“If you don’t participate you get tortured to death, then brought back and it starts all over again,” I sighed looking him in the eyes. “Doesn’t matter how you kill me, as I told Dean, you could rip the skin off my flesh and carve into my bones and it would still be easier than what my family would put me through.”

“I can imagine,” Bobby shook his head. “Doesn’t make it any easier on your executioner. Why Dean though?”

“We have to go up against hunters who have the possibility of killing us, based on my power I’m not left with many options, so who better to kill me than the one who killed a prince of hell,” I sighed. “I just never expected him to not kill me, especially with his supposed hatred for witches.”

“People change, sometimes for the better,” I nodded. “So you are going to bring back the dead then in return for your life.”

“That’s the deal we made, I just hope my family won’t be too suspicious.”

“So,” Bobby cleared his throat and I blinked at the action. “What’s it like traveling with Dean?” he asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Quiet, he doesn’t talk a lot. At least with me anyway. Though I think he was mad at me this morning when I woke him up.” I trailed off and Bobby chuckled.

“What did you do to him?”

“I,” I took a breath trying to contain my blush. “I forgot where I was when I woke up, he moved in the bed and I may have flung him into the wall,” I jumped a bit as Bobby let out a laugh. “I didn’t mean to do it, he just ended up scaring me.”

“He probably deserved it anyway,” Bobby chuckled. “Nobody is hurt so that’s the good thing, would have been funny to see.” I smiled a bit.

“He did look rather shocked when it happened.”

I sat there as we both smiled for a moment before Bobby got up and walked towards the kitchen. I heard him making calls, asking around if anyone knew where to get the ingredients for the spell, sometimes double checking with me every now and then. It wasn’t long before I heard the familiar sound of the car pulling into the yard. Dean came in quickly, looking at me briefly before throwing me a bag of clothes he had gotten while he was out.

“Any leads?” he asked Bobby as he headed into the kitchen, ignoring me as he walked by. I looked through the bag briefly seeing jeans and a few flannels.

“Not too much but I may have found a few things. There’s a ranch just outside of town with a bunch of new black goats and as for the ashes I’m trying to hunt down a demon for you.” Bobby sighed as I walked into the room bag in my hand and I stood beside Dean.

“We also need the soul of the person to be resurrected,” I spoke turning to Dean. “Something I will need the name of the person to be able to collect,” I raised an eyebrow as he looked away. “That is if you still plan on holding up our deal.” He whipped his head back towards me a glare on his face as he did.

“And what can you do about that?” he challenged and I sighed.

“We will need to summon the soul, sure I could summon one without the name but it probably won’t be of the person you want resurrected,” I looked over at Bobby who had a look of humor on his face at the exchange between Dean and myself.

“Can’t that wait until later?”

“Not if you want it done right. I should try to familiarize myself with the soul beforehand, that way I will know for sure if it’s the right one and also see if they are corrupt.” I spoke the truth, if I was going to do this I didn’t want to be bringing back some monster. Dean let out a long breath closing his eyes as he did.

“Sam, Sam Winchester.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy makes an appearance.

“Sam, Sam Winchester,” he spoke as he turned and looked at me in the eyes. I could feel the mixed emotions from both men in the room as he said it and it almost made me light headed. “I want you to bring back my brother,” I looked away at the intense look in his eye, something Dean took as me wanting to back out of the deal. Quickly the loss and remorse I felt from the man turned to rage and anger as he grabbed my arm roughly, squeezing it hard as I let out a yelp in surprise. “Don’t go backing out of the deal now!” he barked roughly as I tried to move away from him.

“I-I’m not! I was just s-surprised I didn’t realize that before.” I spoke honestly but couldn’t keep my voice from shaking as I did. At the sound Dean quickly dropped his hand backing away and regret creeped into his eyes before he turned and left the room, storming outside with the door slamming behind him.

“That boy really needs to calm down,” I jumped as Bobby spoke causing him to chuckle. “Don’t let him treat you like that and get away with it. How do you get in contact with his soul anyway?”

“I call to it,” I smiled. “The way I do it is better than my family. I ask and wait for a response rather than forcing a connection. It can be quite lovely to watch when done properly, it will probably help Dean relax a bit as well.” Bobby nodded before walking towards me.

“Sit down and get ready, I’m going to go out and talk to him. I think it would do some good if he can see his brother in a way.” I nodded watching as Bobby left. I sat down on the chair clearing my head, closing my eyes and focusing on what I wanted to accomplish.

“ **Dicam animae,** ” _I call to the soul._ “ **Sam de Winchester,** ” _of Sam Winchester._ “ **Ut si dicam quod dignum,** ” _May we speak and meet._ “ **Obsecro hercle vocation,** ” _Please answer my call._ I spoke quietly feeling my power reach out and search for the soul. A few answered but I couldn’t pin point the one I needed. I kept my focus on them as I heard the door open and steps leading into the room. I reached out with my hands as I spoke. “Take my hands and hold each other’s,” I felt both Bobby and Dean take one of my hands and my power surged, a feeling similar to static in my arms and one soul reached out more at the contact. “ **Invoco te medium! I call you forward! I focused my power on that soul as I stood up from the chair opening my eyes, glowing blue as I did, and watched as a blue light showed up in the room.**

****

It shone brightly before stretching and revealing a taller figure of a man. He looked to be around my age and had strong features with shaggy hair. He looked around in what seemed to be surprise and shock as the three of us stared on at the figure.

“Sammy?” Dean asked, sounding broken as he chocked the name out, and the soul looked over in shock.

“Dean? Bobby?” He asked slowly and carefully looking behind him before he spoke again. “You, you can see me?”

“Yeah, yeah we can,” Dean choked out as a tear fell down his face. “We see you.”

“What, how?” Sam spoke, confusion flowing through him and his gaze focused on me. “Who is she?”

“Don’t worry about that Sam,” Dean glanced at me as I started shaking with the effort of keeping the connection visible for both Dean and Bobby. “We, We are going to get you back.” 

“Dean what are you-“ Sam started but was soon flickering away voice cutting out as he did. “Don’t- you- any-reckless.” I felt my eyes close as I started to collapse from the effort, Dean catching my elbow and pulling me into him as I fell, and the connection was lost as I started panting. 

Slowly Dean moved me to the chair and brushed the hair away from my eyes and felt my forehead as sweat broke out across it. It usually didn’t take a lot of effort for me to call to a soul but this time I made sure the others with me could see it and I felt the exhaustion and effort from it greatly. Before I knew it a glass was being placed at my lips and I raised my hands tilting it at my own pace as the water slipped into my mouth and I swallowed gratefully. I opened my eyes to find Deans green ones staring right back at me in concern and unvoiced questions as he took the glass from my hands, knelling. I sat there for a few moments and I felt myself getting better quickly and I sat up straighter as my head began to clear.

“Are you ok?” Dean broke the silence and I let out a shaky breath before looking at him with a small smile at the concern laced in his voice.

“Yeah,” I held my hand out in front of me watching it shake before I lowered it again. “Didn’t expect that to take so much out of me,” I shook my head slightly closing my eyes as I focused on my power, feeling the static sensation through my body as I did, and I felt better almost instantly. “I should be good now.” I held out my hand and it stayed steady this time.

“What happened?” It was Bobby that asked this time, as both Dean and myself turned our heads to look a t the man.“I wanted to make sure you could see him as well,” I closed my eyes as I explained. “When you call to a soul it’s usually only the one who reaches out can see them, that or you need to have your own power to see them, I extended my power to you two by taking your hands. It took more out of me than I expected.” I spoke truthfully not wanting to lie to the men.

“So you overworked yourself?” Dean asked and I paused a moment before nodding. “Don’t be doing that, you could have just done it the regular way.” He sighed and I shook my head.

“No, you needed to see him as well,” I took his hand into my own looking him in the eyes briefly before he looked away. I could feel the gratitude coming off him in large waves but also sadness as well, reminding me on what our situation was, and I dropped his hand. “Besides I now know that it was him. It will be easier to reach out to him next time.” I smiled to reassure him before he got up and walked out of the room.

“That was what he needed,” I jumped as Bobby spoke before I turned to him. “But don’t overwork yourself to much on his account. From what I’ve seen you’re a good person and it’s going to be hard for him to keep up his end of the deal if you keep doing stuff like that.” I lowered my head at Bobby’s words knowing how true they were.

“He deserves it though, I can feel it. He’s been waring between emotions in himself for years, he doesn’t seem to feel he deserves any happiness,” I sighed looking at the man again. “So I’ll do what I can to stop that war while I’m here, it’s the least I could do for him helping me like this.” Bobby looked away from me and I had to look down at my lap.

“Are you sure being killed is your only way out of that mess?” I smiled sadly at the question while nodding. 

“It’s the only way, if I ran they would hunt me down. If I didn’t participate they’d torture me, and I wouldn’t be able to fight back, it’s not in my nature,” I looked down at my lap feeling the regret and loss in the man. “Death is the only peaceful option I have, but there is still the chance that they will bring me back. I have to try this way, it is the only chance I have at not being a murderer.”

“I can’t say I blame you,” Bobby sighed taking a breath. “But I can say even though I’ve only known you for a few hours, you are a breath of fresh air in this place and I will miss having you around. Can’t believe I’m saying this but (Y/n), you are a good witch if I ever met one.”

“Thanks Bobby.” I smiled genuinely at the man and he smiled back.

It was then Dean decided to come back into the room, his eyes were a little red but I couldn’t fault him for it as he spoke. “It will be dark soon, Bobby why don’t you and me head out and get the blood,” he turned to me as I went to stand and shock his head. “No (Y/n), you stay here and rest. We will leave after Bobby and I get back.” I nodded, grateful for not having to go along as I relaxed back in the chair. I watched as they left, before I focused back on calling Sam again. 

It was much easier this time given the fact I knew who I was looking for and I didn’t have to be spreading my power to others. The power I did use was small and could be amounted to the strain of someone breathing. As he materialised once again Sam looked around before his eyes trained on me in a questioning state.

“Who are you?” he asked on edge and protective.

“My name is (Y/n).” I answered smoothly and level.

“What did Dean mean by he was going to get me back?” he asked taking a step towards me.

“We,” I started before closing my eyes and steeling myself to speak. “We made a deal, he’s going to do something for me and I’m going to bring you back from the dead.” A mix of emotions ran over his face before he gave me a glare rage filling him slightly.

“What are you making him do?” Sam’s voice was rough and on edge as he visibly tensed more than likely preparing for some sort of fight.

“I asked him to kill me.” I smiled sadly at him and Sam stepped back in confusion, it obviously wasn’t an answer he was expecting but I couldn’t bring it in myself to lie to the man.

“What? Why did you ask him that?” He came closer and knelled in front of me concern on his face as I was taken back by the caring display from him, this man was definitely a caring soul and I hadn’t come across many of those in my life.

“It’s- I,” I shook my head closing my eyes before I looked away from him, not knowing exactly how to react to him. “Because I… it’s just something that needs to be done,” I had to look away from him as I felt concern and questioning from the man. “And it’s a long story.”

“I have the time to listen.” He smiled at me and my eyes widened.

“I-I’m from a family that has a tradition that involves killing a hunter or getting killed,” I started to explain to him as he listened to what I had to say with a keen interest. “I- I don’t want to kill anyone, my only option is to be killed,” I felt the tears in my eyes as I spoke, finally having to face the truth I hadn’t been able to tell anyone. “I found Dean and thought he would be able to do it, I hoped for it, but he-he refused to. Even when I threatened him, not that I would have been able to do anything, he still wouldn’t,” I rubbed my eyes as the tears fell and my voice shook. “He wanted me to explain it and I did, I told him about the reason and how no matter what he did it would be better than what my family would do to me. I told him they would torture me to death and bring me back again and again,” I took a moment to breath as he placed a hand on my knee, I felt the energy and comfort as he did and it calmed me a bit. “After that he said he’d do it, he would kill me if I used the spell to bring back someone else,” I looked Sam in the eye’s smiling as I did. “He needs you, I think it’s a fair exchange for my life. He gets someone back and I get to rest in peace.” He nodded looking away for a moment in thought. 

“But what about me?” He asked and I tilted my head at the question. “What if I don’t think your life is worth bringing me back?” the question was almost silent but screamed inside of me. “I don’t want someone to have to die so I can come back.”

“I don’t have to die,” I spoke looking away from him. “I just want too.”

“Want or need?” I whipped my head back to look at him, eyes wide as I did. “You say you want to, but I feel something different from you. What you actually want is to live, but you feel you need to die instead. Like I said, I don’t want someone to die so I can come back, but that choice is out of my hands. You want to live but think you need to die,” he sighed before looking into my eyes. “Don’t do this because you feel you need to, because I won’t want that. You said Dean didn’t want to kill you before, right?” I nodded wiping away the last of my tears. “It’s going to be hard on him to kill you after he brings me back anyway, if he does then I’m going to give him hell for it anyway.” I laughed a bit at the statement, because I could tell it would be true, before I smiled sadly.

“You probably would but I doubt that would actually happen, people don’t really remember what happens when they are brought back. You wouldn’t even know me,” I looked away and he sighed. “You would only know what Dean would tell you after you woke up.”

“And I know my brother, I’d be able to tell if something was wrong with him.”

“You are probably right,” I smiled at him and he gave a have one back.

“So tell me why you think this is the only option.”

* * *

It had been a few hours since Dean and Bobby left but I was happy to stay back. Even though he was dead Sam was very much alive in spirit and was more than willing to listen to my fears and what drove me to such dire circumstances. It helped ease much of my worry and was nice to talk to someone who was willing to listen and give advice without meddling. Sam understood the situation and had his own ideas and opinions but knew and understood he couldn’t change anything and instead offered comfort. It brought great peace to me and I was able to unleash the tears I had been holding in for so long without fear of judgement. His presence was peaceful enough that when Dean and Bobby did get back I didn’t force him away, but instead I used my power to keep him here as long as he wanted. 

When the two men came in through the door I got up from the chair and grabbed the bag of clothes Dean had bought and went to go get changed. I decided on wearing the jeans he had grabbed along with a black tank top and red flannel, before slipping my boots back on. When I came back out I had to stop myself from greeting Sam again and commenting on how happy he looked. He was in a room with his brother and dear friend and it was evident how much that meant to him, even if they couldn’t see him. 

“Are you ready to go?” Dean asked startling me out of my train of thought and I nodded. “Good, we have a few hours’ drive ahead of us. Bobby got a hit on those ashes, the faster we get this done the better.” He spoke softly compared to what I had been accustomed to in our short time together and I had to keep myself from laughing at the eye roll Sam made from behind him.

“Well then you two should get out of here then, no sense in wasting anymore time,” Bobby huffed as he got up from behind the desk and walked over to me with open arms. “I know it ain’t much but I want to thank you for letting me see that boy,” He gave me a hug and I found myself returning it fully. “I’m going to miss you kid, and don’t take anymore shit from this idjit.” His voice broke at the end and I felt the sorrow within him as well.

“Don’t worry, I’m just glad I was able to meet you.” I smiled as I pulled away from the man and he nodded slowly, sadness rolling off of him as I did.

“Come on,” Dean spoke this time and I looked over at him. “We need to get moving.” There was sadness in the tone and I nodded at him as I grabbed the bag and started to make my way out of the house. Dean stayed back for a minute along with Sam before coming out, Bobby staying on the steps as we put the bags in the trunk. I waved at Bobby as we pulled away, Sam commenting on it from the backseat as I ignored the sadness I felt.

“He was nice.” I broke the silence between Dean and myself and he chuckled a bit.

“He also pulled a gun on you.”

“I would have been shocked if he didn’t,” I laughed as I looked out the window, the silence creeping back in. “I think I’m going to miss him.” It was a whisper but I knew Dean had heard it as well.

“Don’t worry about him, he will be alright,” I looked back over watching as the street lights lit up his face as we drove. “Just focus on what you want to do.” I nodded looking out the window once again.

“ **He’s scared, Krystal, **” Sam spoke from the back seat leaning over the middle. “ **He doesn’t want to kill you, Bobby doesn’t either. They are looking for a way to get you out of this.** ”****

****  
** **

‘ _I know_ ’ I spoke to him with my power, not wanting Dean to know. ‘ _I can feel it, but I told you Sam, it’s the only way. I’ve thought of everything and there is nothing that will stop it from happening_.’ I felt the tear running down my cheek at the thought of it.

“ **All you have to do is tell them you don’t want to die. Just tell Dean you want to live, they will find a way to get you through this.** ” Sam was getting desperate and I could feel it.

‘ _It doesn’t change anything though, they will still come after me and I won’t be able to escape it. Even if I tell them there’s the risk of my family coming after them instead, I can’t force that on them for my own selfishness._ ’ I left the conversation at that as I rested against the window, letting the noise and rocking of the car drift me to sleep.

I turned over feeling a kink in my neck as I did and groaned a bit in pain and squeezed my eyes shut more than they were. I brought my hand up to my neck feeling the static in my hand as I healed the pain with my power before sitting upright and stretching my arms.

“Good sleep?” Dean asked and I glanced over at him as I rubbed my neck again.

“As good as you can get in a car,” I laughed and he gave a bit of a chuckle as well. “How long was I out for?”

“ _ **About two hours**_.” Sam and Dean spoke at the same time and I nodded.

“You shouldn’t have let me sleep for so long,” I directed the comment at both of them. “Do you want me to drive?” I asked already having an idea of what the answer was going to be but I had to make the offer to the man

“Like I said yesterday, you ain’t driving my Baby.”

“ **Typical Dean, I only drove the car a few times and that was only when there wasn’t any other real option.** ” Sam spoke after scoffing and I tried to ignore him.

“Besides, we are just about in town,” He paused for a bit before speaking in a quieter voice, almost like he was scared. “Do you think you can bring Sam back again?”

“ **Dean I’m already here.** ” Sam was leaning forward again and Dean turned glancing at me.

“I- I just want to talk to him again. Explain what happened and what we are doing. I need him to know that.” I looked away from him out the window and I gathered my thoughts feeling the desperation from both of them to speak with each other before I could decide.

“ **Dean I’m here and I already know all that stuff.** ” Sam spoke and I found him looking over at Dean as I turned my head back.

“He’s here,” I decided to let him know. “Sam’s here,” I smiled as they both turned to look at me with shock on their faces. “He’s here.”

“Sammy?” Dean questioned looking back at the road and his face seemed to light up as he spoke to his brother. “How-how you doing?”

“Here let me help.” I undid my seatbelt, both looking to me with concern as I did and moved into the middle seat to take Deans free hand, focusing on letting him see Sam as well.

“Hey Dean,” Sam spoke slowly as he moved into the front seat and smiled sadly.

“Sammy?” Dean glanced over smiling as he did.

“Yes, it’s me Dean. Just keep your eyes on the road, you don’t need to crash and wind up dead.” They both chuckled on the statement before Sam glanced at me a movement Dean caught and quickly rushed to explain.

“Don’t worry she-“ Dean started before Sam cut him off.

“She already told me everything,” he stated sadly as I closed my eyes focusing on the connection feeling it waver slightly with all of their emotions. “Dean, don’t kill her to bring me back. I don’t care what happens just don’t do it, find a way to get her out of this.”

“No!” I spoke voice shaking as I did. “It has to be this way.” I was almost shouting and my arms began to shake with effort I didn’t realise I had been using.

“Don’t kill her Dean.” Sam spoke before I collapsed into Dean’s side, losing the connection for him. It wasn’t as bad as last time, and Sam didn’t disappear completely but instead just from Dean’s view.

“Hey, hey,” worry in his voice Dean wrapped an arm around me sitting me back up and resting my head on his shoulder as I shook slightly. “Hey are you ok? What’s going on?” he asked glancing at me as he spoke and I nodded. “Don’t be overworking yourself like that, I’m sure it can’t be good for you.”

“It’s fine.” I mumbled closing my eyes and calming myself down as I leaned into the man more. He was worried and I found being closer to him eased that worry and let me relax a bit easier.

“ _ **No it’s not.**_ ” I smiled as the both spoke at the same time again.

“You two are more alike than I thought,” I mumbled feeling Dean move to glance at me quickly as he tried to focus on the road. “It’s starting to creep me out when you guys speak at the same time.”

“ **You aren’t the only one.** ” Sam laughed leaning over me as he spoke.

“You can still hear and see Sam?” Dean asked and I nodded not wanting to lie to him on the matter.

“Didn’t want to send him away yet and he wasn’t forced to leave like last time. He’s been with us since we left Bobby’s.” I looked up at him to gauge his reaction as he focused on the road.

“Good to know,” He spoke with a slight smile on his face as he let out a breath. “Sammy, we-we don’t have much choice as to what happens. It’s supposed to be better for her this way.” Dean spoke with a tone that sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than his brother.

“ **That’s bullshit and you know it Dean.** ” Sam sat back in a huff and I closed my eyes again feeling the frustration from him.

“He says that’s bullshit,” I started before speaking up louder for Sam as I continued. “He just doesn’t want to admit the truth.”

“If there was another way, you know I would find it Sammy.” Dean offered as he slowed down, us having arrived in to the town.

“ **Then don’t make her bring me back, if her reason wasn’t good enough before than why does it change now.** ” Sam countered and I sighed.

“Then don’t make me bring him back, if you weren’t going to do it before that then why does that change now. Is his response.” Dean shook his head and I could see the range of emotions on his face as he battled with his own feelings.

“That’s part of the deal, I kill her in return for you. It’s done Sammy.” Dean ground out in frustration.

“ **Tell her no deal, don’t bring me back this way. Find a way to save her and then bring me back.** ”

“He says then say no deal. Save me then have me bring him back,” I sighed in irritation. “Sam, I told you before. This is the only option, and even then it might not work. It’s the only way I can have a peaceful end. There’s no saving me from this and we don’t even know if it will work out the way I want anyway.” I felt Dean stiffen slightly at my words but had to ignore it.

“Sammy, just let me do this. If not for you or me, then let me do it for her.” There was a tone to Deans voice I hadn’t heard before and it made me relax a little and you heard Sam sigh in frustration.

“Fine Dean, but I won’t let you kill her after you bring me back.”

“You won’t remember this all Sam, people don’t remember what happens in the veil after they are brought back. If anything you would probably kill me before Dean got the chance.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” He argued and I shook my head.

“ No, You would. Sam you are going to be waking up, as far as you know, after being stabbed to see your brother and a _witch_ who have _made a deal_. You are a hunter Sam, you’re going to want to off me before asking questions,” I spoke out loud and Dean kept glancing over to me as I did. “Sam,” I had to look out the side window as I spoke, not wanting Dean to how scared and afraid I was. “It’s the only thing I can do that will help people, please don’t try to fight us on this. I made my mind up long ago that this was how it was going to happen.” I heard him sigh and rested my forehead on the cool glass and the car was silent for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry it has taken so long for an update, i had most of the story finished when my computer glitched and deleted all the work i had done and to top it all off i haven't had much time to work on it. i hope to be updating on a more frequent status soon but i can't make any promises. So her we are, enjoy the story

“We are going to have to track this demon down, we’ll stop for the night and look for clues in the morning,” Dean spoke up and I turned back to him. “Might as well rest while we can.” I nodded as he pulled into a hotel parking lot, I got out quickly and grabbed my purse.

“I’ll go get a room,” Dean nodded at me before I turned around and headed to the front desk. Thankfully this time they had not only two bed rooms but there was a suite available that would give you both some privacy as well. Dean had come in carrying his bags just as I finished, leaving my credit card number on the paperwork in case it took a few days to find the demon. “I got us a suite,” I told him while giving him one of the room key cards, he raised an eyebrow and I continued. “Thought you might want a little privacy, especially after what happened last time.” Dean nodded taking the card from my hand.

“ **What happened last time?** ” I tried not to jump as Sam caught me off guard and I had resisted the urge to speak out and answer him as I had been doing. Dean gave me a slightly concerned look before I grabbed his hand to take him to the elevator as Sam continued to speak. “ **What happened last time?** ” he asked again but before I could him answer as the elevator doors closed Dean spoke up.

“I scared her.” I turned to face the man with a surprised look on my face only to see him staring straight at his brother which confused me. Looking down and seeing our hands still connected and only then did I notice the familiar tingle in my arm whenever I used my power.

“How did you do that?” I briefly heard Sam ask and Dean rolled his eyes as I tried to figure out why Dean could now see and hear Sam without me willing the connection this time.

“I don’t want to have to explain it to you,” Dean spoke before he looked down at me, reminding me once again the size of the man in front of me. His gaze was gentler this time and I saw some gratitude in his eyes as he spoke to me now. “You can tell him if you want to explain it.”

I looked between the two of them before back down at my hand entwined with Dean’s and I shook my head. “What did he do to you?” Sam asked me with a concerned face but once again Dean spoke while I was still in a stupor.

“Don’t ask it like that, that makes me sound like some kind of criminal.” Sam rolled his eyes at the comment before the elevator dinged and the doors opened on our floor and Dean moved us out of the elevator and towards the room.

“Well you are going to be killing her so what should I be thinking?” Sam spoke looking away from the man and Dean groaned in annoyance.

“You know what I don’t have to listen to this from you again.” Dean ground out before releasing my hand and my power faded out as I still looked at my hand. Dean was grumbling to himself slightly as he opened the door and walked in the room while Sam sighed.

“ **He can be such a child sometimes.** ” I nodded in disbelief at what had just happened before walking into the room myself with Sam following.

Dean was out of sight and had already claimed what I wouldn’t doubt was the master room of the two but I couldn’t find it in me to argue it. The room was a decent size and had a small kitchen and a small living room that looked more like a small apartment then a hotel room. There was a couch with matching chair set up around a coffee table facing an wall mounted T.V. with a small shelving unit underneath. But the room was on the back of my mind as I sat down on the couch as I tried to figure out what had happened. 

Never before had my powers acted without me guiding them in some way yet this time it happened without me realising it had happened and to top it off I didn’t feel any stress or drain from Dean being able to see Sam this time. Very rarely could someone activate or use a witch’s power without the witch using them consciously and the only ones who could were other witches of higher power. Dean was human and a hunter who I doubted knew or used witchcraft before so it was weighing on my mind. I was so in thought with myself I hadn’t realised Dean had come back into the main area and sat down next to me.

“What’s wrong?” He asked and I jumped causing his eyes to widen as I did. “Whoa, what’s got you so jumpy?” he asked with genuine concern as I closed my eyes and calmed down.

“How,” I started before shaking my head and looking at him. “It’s nothing, just a little tired I guess.” He nodded his head as he looked towards the black T.V. screen.

“Right, the power drain,” he answered for himself and nodded before turning back to me while I had to resist leaning into him and the comforting presence he gave off. “Thanks for that by the way.”

“It’s not an issue,” I mumbled as I looked down at my hands as I fumbled with them a bit. It felt weird lying to him about it but I had no other way to explain what had happened and I leaned back in the sofa. “You need to see him sometimes.”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head more to himself than to me before he moved to get up and I watched him as he did. “I’m going to go get some food or something for us, any requests?” he asked and I shook my head before grabbing my purse and pulling out my wallet. “What are you doing?”

I paused my movement before looking up at him. “I was going to give you some cash, for the food.” I spoke and he shook his head.

“Keep it, you already got this room.” I tilted my head at his words.

“What else am I going to do with it? There’s no reason for me to be saving it.” He frowned before shaking his head and turning to leave.

“I’m not taking it,” he paused when he got to the door, turning with an expression I couldn’t read before he spoke. “Stay here and don’t do anything stupid.” I nodded before he walked out, closing the door behind him.

I sat in silence as I let out a long sigh, before a voice spoke up from the corner. “What’s wrong,” Sam asked and I turned to look at him before he continued. “Dean may be ok with accepting you are just tired but I know there’s something else.” I looked away from him briefly before I decided there was no part in lying to him. 

“I didn’t mean… I wasn’t trying to let him see you,” I closed my eyes trying to figure out how to explain it. “I was just trying to leave so I could answer you but somehow when I held his hand he could see you this time and I don’t know why it happened.”

“So your powers acted on their own?”

“Something along those lines,” I shook my head letting out a shaky breath as I did. “It’s _never_ happened to me before though and it makes me a little scared. The only cases I have heard of something like this happening is when another witch is manipulating that power. The only other thing I can think of is because each time I have touched him since I called to you it has been to let him see you, maybe it’s becoming easier and an automatic reaction.” I admitted it to myself before Sam looked away in his own thought.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, if anything I’d say it is because you’ve been doing it enough that its easier for you now.” I nodded smiling as I did.

“I really hope that is the reason, because I don’t know what it would be otherwise,” I sighed again feeling my throat tighten and my eyes start to water. “I wish I could have gotten to know you in another way Sam,” He looked over at me frowning before I continued. “You are a really good person, I’m glad I’m bringing you back before…” I trailed off looking away as I did, not knowing how to continue with the way I knew Sam felt about the situation.

“I don’t want you to do it,” he spoke up and I had to look away before he moved in front of me again. “I don’t want you to have to be killed and I don’t want to be brought back if it means that’s what is going to happen to you.” I shook my head and closed my eyes hanging my head down as I felt my eyes begin to water.

“Sam it has to be this way, if Dean doesn’t do it then I’ll be tortured endlessly for the rest of my long life. I know you don’t want it to be this way but it’s my only chance at being able to die in the way I want and I don’t even know if it’s going to work. My family still may bring me back,” the tears were falling now. “I don’t want to die Sam but I can’t go through that kind of torture and I’m afraid it would change who I am. Having Dean kill me is going to be the only way I can take my own fate into my hands and know that I’m still me at the end of it.” I felt the weight lift off my chest at the admission of it but I couldn’t back out of the decision I had made. “This is my only choice where no one else gets hurt.” Sam moved and I felt the energy from his soul wrap around me as he attempted to comfort me as much as he could in a hug that couldn’t give the full effect if he had been alive.

“You need to tell Dean, that’s the only way he can help you escape your family. Let him help you and try to save you (Y/n).” Sam spoke in a soothing voice but I shook my head.

“I can’t do that, what happens then if we try to find another way but are left with no other options? What are we supposed to do then Sam? Do you really think after I tell Dean I want to live he will be able to kill me if there’s no other way?” he pulled away as I asked him and I could see contemplation on his face as he took in my words. “I can tell right now he doesn’t want to have to kill me so how do you think it will be if I say I want to live?” I looked down in my lap as I finished knowing the heavy burden that was going to be falling on Dean’s shoulders. “It’s better that he doesn’t know how I feel right now.”

“I… I understand where you’re coming from but he deserves to know.” Sam didn’t have the same tones in his voice before and I knew he understood my feelings more so now.

“I have a feeling you will tell him eventually,” I let out a humorless laugh at the end of the sentence and Sam tilted his head in confusion before I spoke again. “Sometimes people remember later on what happened to them while they were in the veil. It usually takes a few years or sometimes decades but if you had strong emotions while here the memories can come back.”

“Are you saying one day I might all of the sudden remember you and what you’ve told me?” Sam asked and I nodded. “That would be worse for both me and Dean, (Y/n).”

“I know, and I am sorry that burden will end up falling on your shoulders,” I whispered quietly. “But I have no other option Sam, you will know how I was scared but also know that my mind is made up. It’s the only way I will be me through it all.” Sam looked away and stood up, it made me miss his comfort but I had to let process what I had told him.

“Well as you said there is nothing I can do about it now,” He turned back to me and I could see the bit of pain on his face as he continued. “But know I wanted you to live, and so does everyone else (Y/n).” I had to look away at that statement, it was something I could feel in Dean’s own emotions and as much as I wanted too I couldn’t change my mind now.

“I know, but I can’t justify killing anyone unless it’s me.” Sam looked away from me and shook his head slowly, knowing now he was truly beat and wouldn’t be able to change my mind.

“Fine,” our eyes locked and I could see they frustration on his face of not being able to do anything more so I stood up and grabbed my purse, pulling out some candles and chalk from my bag. “What are you doing?” He asked while I started to draw and set up for a spell.

“Tracking spell, I might be able to pinpoint the demon beforehand so we can get this done and over with before my family gets suspicious. It will make it easier.” I stated continuing to lay out the spell as Sam hovered by in fascination.

“I wish you were around for more hunts.” He commented and I laughed a bit, hoping to bring back a better mood to him. “You would have helped us out a lot.”

“No, your brother probably would have killed me on site,” I shook my head before turning to look at him. “You probably would have as well,” I trailed off before the door opened and Dean came in, pausing when he noticed the beginnings of the spell before I spoke up. “It’s to track our demon.” He nodded at the explanation coming into the room and placing the bags he was carrying down on the kitchen table before turning back to me.

“Really could have been useful to us on some hunts,” he trailed off and I couldn’t contain the giggle that came out of my throat. Dean raised an eyebrow as I got myself back under control. “What?” he questioned in a defensive tone and I waved my hand in an attempt to brush it off.

“It’s just that’s the same thing Sam said,” I trailed off as he looked away feeling the sudden change in his mood and the guilt along with it. “But I should get back to the spell,” I pointed and turned away as he looked back, trying to get rid of the sudden change in atmosphere. “We can at least figure out if he’s here or get an idea of where he’s been hiding.” Dean nodded before coming over and almost standing over me as I prepared the spell.

I lit the candles closed my eyes and focused, feeling my power throughout my whole body in almost static waves as it pulsed. “ **Pro superi, quaerere unus ego animus tenebris nigrum et concupiscentiis,** ” _Gods above, I search for one of dark soul and black desires._ “ **Obvolutae et tenebras quam humana natura.** ” _Twisted and dark beyond human nature._ “ **Interrogabo vos et ego auxiliatus sum oblítus est mei track meam.** ” _I ask you to help me track this forgotten soul_. I opened my eyes but not seeing what was around my immediate space but instead the area where the demon was. 

It was an old warehouse that seemed to be on the outskirts of town and I vaguely recognized it from when we had drove in. The man was without a doubt a demon and I could feel the power radiating off of him even through the projection as I watched until I felt a jolt and the vision faded away as strong arms wrapped around me as I fell. My vision was blurry and my head was fuzzy as I tried to get my bearings again as I heard worried voices around me as I was lowered to the couch. I clutched onto the arms holding me closing my eyes at the sudden numbness in my head and let Dean get me situated on the seat before I could begin to comprehend the low murmur of both Sam and Dean’s worried voices.

“Are you ok?” Dean I think it was asked and I opened my eyes finding his gaze on mine full of concern and worry as I moved to sit up on my own.

“I… I think so…” I trailed off not knowing exactly what had happened. “I found the demon.” Dean took a moment looking away, before my vision shifted again and I fell into his side once more.

“I don’t think you are ok,” Sam spoke as Dean lifted me up and into his arms, the motion making me a little dizzy as he did. “Dean what are you doing.”

“Taking her to her room,” he responded to Sam but it didn’t surprise me as much this time. “She needs to lay down and get some rest.” He spoke as my world slowly became black and their voices faded away along with my consciousness.

* * *

There was a pounding in my head as I opened my eyes and recalled what had happened before I passed out. I rubbed my eyes before looking around the room finding myself in the same clothes as before and my boots beside the bed. My head was a little fuzzy as I sat up but I quickly used my power to get rid of the feeling and got up out of bed and walked into the common area. Dean was up and seemed to be cooking breakfast as I silently made my way towards the area.

“How are you feeling?” he asked without looking up or turning around which had startled me a bit before I moved to sit at the table.

“Better I guess.” I spoke looking out the window and to the blue sky outside.

“That’s good then,” there was a hint of concern in his voice that was almost drowned out by sound of eggs frying. “Do you have any idea on what might have caused it?”

I shook my head despite him not being able to see me. “No, I have no clue what happened.” He turned around looking at me seeming to gage the sincerity of my statement before he turned back to the food.

“You said you found the demon, did you?”

“Yes, he was in the warehouse just outside of town.” I saw him nodding before I looked around, I hadn’t seen Sam or heard him make a comment since I got up and it made me wonder what had happened to him.

“Be honest, are you trying to overwork yourself to die?” The question shocked me out of my search and I had to look back at Dean, finding him leaning against the counter facing me with a calculating look in his eye. He seemed to become more agitated as I didn’t respond quickly. “Look I know you don’t want to be around here anymore but don’t be trying to back out of our deal early.” He sounded angry but made no move to come towards me as he usually did.

“I-I’m not trying to back out of the deal Dean, I don’t know what happened,” he looked at me skeptical before I let out a sigh and dropped my head into my hands. “I don’t know what’s going on ok, I’ve never had that happen to me before and I don’t want it too,” I looked up finding the concern back on his face instead of the hard mask. “I’m not trying to back out of the deal, I can promise you that,” He nodded before I looked around again. “You don’t happen to know where Sam is?” I asked more to myself than to the man in front of me.

“No,” He turned back to the food again. “He was worried about you last night but I don’t know what happened to him after I left you in your room. He tried to convince me to back out of the deal again…. Honestly I was worried that he had somehow convinced you to and that was what had happened.” He scratched the back of his head as he spoke and I had to look away. This situation was not one I was expecting to be in and I was scared for what Sam could have told him. 

“No, I don’t plan on trying to back out,” I let out a sigh before shaking my head and looking to the man standing before me. “It’s the only option I have where I can be my own person and who I want to be. As bad as it sounds I am at least happy my death will bring someone like Sam back, that way it will mean something.” I spoke more to myself and had a sad smile on my face and did not notice the scowl that had formed on Dean’s own face.

“Breakfast is ready,” Dean spoke turning around and plating some food for himself before motioning me over to grab some as well. There was eggs, bacon, and toast, classic breakfast so I grabbed a plate and put on a healthy amount before moving to the table sitting opposite of Dean. “There’s some juice in the fridge.” He said in between mouthfuls and I got up to grab some for myself.

“Do you want anything?” I asked grabbing a cup before turning towards the fridge.

“Actually, yeah. If you could pour me some of that orange juice.” I nodded grabbing a second cup and filling them both before walking back over and Dean thanked me before I sat down and looking at the spread.

“When did you get all this?” I asked before taking a bite.

“This morning,” He took a sip of the drink before continuing. “Woke up early and decide to grab something other than fast food, figured you’d be needing it when you woke up.”

“Thank you,” I smiled at him before taking another bite. “It’s really good by the way, never had a classic breakfast growing up.” Dean raised an eyebrow.

”You never had bacon and eggs growing up?”

”Well yes, but never in the way we should. It was always at restaurants and dinners, never a homemade meal.” I looked away from his gaze feeling the sympathy coming off of him.

“It’s never too late to start,” He spoke sadly before chuckling. “Never really had it much growing up either. After mom died dad was all for hunting, I had to raise Sammy really, learned to cook pretty quick growing up.” He reminisced and I understood why he wanted his brother back as much as he did.

“I’ve never had to cook, we were always at restaurants and when we weren’t I could usually use magic to get something. I tried to take a class once but my family looked down on it so I never went.” I shared with him and Dean nodded.

”I’m sorry to hear that.” Dean spoke and I shook my head. 

”Don’t be, they weren’t exactly great parents but I took care of myself. I did what I could to avoid most of it. I was never hurt by them, they thought I was valuable. I have access to power none of them have ever had before so compared to my cousins I was treated as a fragile doll and a princess.” I laughed a bit before shaking my head.

”You honestly don’t seem like a spoiled princess.” Dean mumbled as he got up taking the dirty dishes with him.

”I’ve been able to keep myself humble, learned how to act and respond to people in the ways they wanted without losing who I am and how my power makes me as such,” I started to explain as Dean came back to the table. “Nature and life is neutral and doesn’t try to stand out but rather knows its place. Because they are the source of my power they have influenced me in that way as well.”

”What do you mean by that?” Dean asked with interest and I smiled at him.

”Those who use dark magic can easily be swayed to darker emotions and standings, mine is more involved with live so I am more swayed to those feelings. Things can change and people can be swayed to either reaction regardless of power but I don’t want to be that way… What my family will put me though I have no doubt would eventually change my mind. A person can only go through so much before it starts to change them and with the amount of power I have and the way I can use it, I’m sure they will torture me till I am corrupt. “ I watched as Dean nodded taking in the information and sighed.

”I think I understand a bit more of why you want to do things this way,” Dean spoke quietly before shaking his head. “Well, let’s get back to the problem at and figure out what we can about this demon.”

* * *

We pulled up to the old warehouse and for the first time I cursed the sound the old impala gave as Dean turned off the engine and we got out and headed to the back of the car. Sam was back after having gone around the hotel most of the night and making sure nothing had shown up while I was passed out. The plan was to have Sam go in and scout the building since it was unlikely the demon would be able to see him and that would make sneaking in and finding him easier. I was going to hang back and help where needed listening to what Dean and Sam told me to do give the fact I had never gone on a hunt before. Dean passed me some holy water and salt to use if I had to while he grabbed some tools he needed. I noticed Sam coming back from the building and grabbed on to Deans hand as he got close enough to speak.

”He’s in there, I found a good route I can take you in that he won’t be able to see you coming.” Sam spoke quickly as he started to take us into the building leading us down hallways while scouting and making sure our path was clear. I held on to Deans hand the entire time letting him and Sam figured out what the best way to approach the demon.

When we finally made to the open area we spotted the demon. Dean rushed in while I stayed hidden around the corner out of sight as he fought the creature. They both taunted each other and I could hear each hit from where I was hiding but I never looked around the corner, not wanting to see the violence unfolding or distract Dean more than he already was. It wasn’t until a particular blow threw him across the room sliding on the floor and past where I was hiding. I had to fight the urge to run over to him but stayed where I was when our eyes met briefly and I saw the warning in them.

“Is that all you got? Here I thought you guys would be stronger since I got out of the game.” Dean taunted as the demon laughed walking over to the man and passed me without stopping. 

“ **You need to get out of here.** ” Sam whispered in my ear as the demon began talking as well.

“Oh I can hit a _hell_ of a lot harder but I want to enjoy this,” he kicked Dean and the man groaned as he slid further away, glaring at the demon as it happened. “It’s not every day I get a chance to let loose and kill Dean Winchester, I want this to last.” He laughed as he kicked Dean once again an audible crack coming from the collision with his ribs and he let out a cry of pain before the demon pressed his foot onto the man’s neck.

I briefly heard Sam telling me to run before I felt myself throwing my arms in the demons direction, pinning the creature against the wall as I felt the familiar tingle in my arms. Dean coughed and groaned as he rolled over and got up sending me a brief glance before getting up and making his way toward the demon. The creature struggled a bit and I increased my power, pinning him more and he let out a frustrated yell as Dean chuckled.

”Looks like you won’t be able to carry out those plans,” he glanced at me again and I nodded at the silent question before he turned his attention back to the demon. “unlike you I plan to make this quick.” Without warning Dean plunged the knife into the demons chest and it cried out in pain as it glowed orange from the inside out.

The pain started almost instantly for me as well and I let out a scream as it felt like my chest had been torn open. All at once it felt like my bones shattered and my muscles convulsed as I felt the rush of death and pain from the creature. My head filled with screams as it pounded as I hit the floor, feeling each emotion the demon had felt as it died not only in front of me but also its death as a human soul and the time it spent getting tortured in hell. My whole body felt as if it were on fire and being pulled apart cell by cell and my ears were ringing and a pounding started in my head as I hit the floor and my lungs felt as it they were both filled with water and dry as I desert as I screamed feeling my body shaking as I did.

Then as soon as it started and as hard as the feelings hit it was gone in an instant that brought along its own pain as all my muscles relaxed and I whimpered as I was pulled into Deans arms, clinging to him as my hearing and vision came back. Everything felt numb and I felt as tears fell down my cheeks while I could hear both Sam and Deans worried voices but couldn’t understand the words they were saying. I stayed unmoving and whimpering in Deans arms for a while before I took a sharp breath and everything faded and I could think again, slowly moving to sit up while Dean supported me.

”What happened?” Dean asked as I calmed down and I had to close my eyes as the feelings entered my mind again.

”I felt it… I felt everything he felt when he died as a human and what he felt in hell and… It overwhelmed me so much.” I brought my hands up to the sides of my head as I shook at the _memory_ of it all and I felt a light pounding in my head.

“You felt all of that because I killed him?”

Dean asked and I nodded carefully before my vision got dizzy and I fell into him once again. “Hey, hey, easy there.” Dean spoke quietly before I opened my eyes again.

”Its ok,” I sat up steadying myself as I did. “Let’s get this done,” I stood on unsteady legs as Dean rose, groaning as he did and I remembered the hit he took to his ribs. I turned to him catching him off guard as I rested my hand along his jaw line and placed my other hand over his ribs gently and closed my eyes feeling static in my hands as I healed the injury. He gave a sharp intake of air before letting out an easy breath as the damage was healed and I swayed lightly before he steadied me. I let the hand slowly resting on his face fall to his shoulder and I opened my eyes finding his gaze locked on mine before I pulled away and turned back to the body on the floor. “I just have to burn the body and then we can leave.” I felt Deans gaze on my back as I held my hand out and watched as the body combusted and burned brightly for a few seconds before all that remained was ash.

As I lowered my hand the pounding came back to my head and I had to close my eyes as the pain increased and I fell once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long to finish, I had a good portion of it typed out when my computer updated and deleted all of the work I had done on it along with some other up and coming works. I have been working hard to get this out as soon as I could but I had some personal struggles and issues I had to deal with first. I hope to get back to a fairly regular schedule as my work allows and i hope to wrap up this story as best as I can for all of you!
> 
> Once again I thank you all for your patience with this latest update.

Dean Pov

Once again here I was carrying (Y/n), she seemed more and more fragile each time it happened despite the obvious power I knew she possessed. I didn’t know how to react to it anymore, here was a girl who wanted nothing more than to die and be killed by my hands, and I couldn’t help but be worried and concerned for her. How was I supposed to do what she asked when I see how vulnerable and scared she is, but also see how compassionate and caring she is towards everyone.

Each time she started to collapse I was there to catch her or help her in some way, this time I couldn’t do any of that. The scream that tore through her throat as I stabbed the demon was going to haunt me for the rest of my life, almost as much as the sound of her body hitting the cold hard floor and I was concerned at how hard her head hit the cement. When I had turned around to see her I expected to see another demon or creature over her, so when I saw her convulsing on the floor it _terrified_ me more than I would like to admit. With how quickly it seemed to pass troubled me as well and I couldn’t do anything but try to comfort her after it had passed. Then to find out the whole thing had happened because something was killed around her, I understood why she was trying to die, why put yourself through that much pain if there was an easier way? It didn’t help how I felt about what she was asking me to do but it gave me more of an insight into how she had come to the decision she did.

I was able to collect the ashes quickly, resting her against the wall as I did, and carried her out to the car. I was as carful as I could be with her, not knowing what her condition actually was. Sam stayed quiet most of the time until we got back to the hotel, he helped me sneak in with her in my arms to avoid any suspicion but after we got to the room things changed.

“You know she doesn’t want to die right?” He spoke as I was closing the door behind us and I let out a sigh as I held her close.

“If you are trying to get me to back out of this again-“

“Dean why are you even doing this for her?” the question took me off guard before he continued on. “You said it yourself you weren’t going to kill her and just because she can bring me back you change your mind?” He stood in front of me a glare on his face and I shook my head.

“She was going to stay with me until I did it anyway, at least if I do it now I get my brother back.” I moved to walk around him but he just moved as well.

“So what? She doesn’t want to die Dean, and from how you’ve been treating her I highly doubt you want to kill her.” He challenged and I glared at him, he really did know me better than I would like to admit.

“It doesn’t matter what I want, we made this deal and I plan to stick through it,” I looked down at her and had to close my eyes at how emotionless her face looked, reminding me that very soon that was how it was going to look after Sam was back. “Besides, did you see what happened to her? I didn’t know something like that could happen to a witch. If I was in her shoes I would have made the same choice.” Sam let out a sigh and began pacing.

“So we find a way to keep her safe,” I watched him as ran a hand through his hair, clearly trying to think of how we could help. “Bobby said he was going to look into something right? Just keep her out of her families reach and protect her until we have another way to help her,” He stopped pacing and turned to look at me, his eyes pleading as he did. “Just don’t kill her yet.”

“And what if they find her and take her away? With everything she’s told us about them I _can’t_ take that risk without her telling me she wants to live. I can’t try to do that in case they do get a hold of her, Sam. She’s told us what they can do and I don’t think I could live with the thought that if I make a mistake she will then be tortured by them,” I looked down at (y/n) and I could picture the horror on her face from my own experiences. “Unless she tells me it’s what she wants, I can’t make that decision for her and have it go sideways. I would rather live with the guilt of having killed her with my hands than that of knowing _my_ mistake caused her to get tortured.” I watched Sam’s face as he took in what I was telling him before I walked through him towards her room.

“Dean she told me,” he begged behind me and I had to pause at the pleading in his voice. “She told me she wants to live but feels she has no other options and doesn’t want to cause problems for you. Dean please, she doesn’t want to die.”

“She hasn’t told me.” I walked into the room and placed her on the bed checking her as she groaned a bit at the movement.

“Dean, please just-“ Sam cut out as I let go of her. Not really knowing why I was able to see and hear him despite (y/n) being unconscious.

“Sammy, she has to tell me, until then all I can do is keep to the deal we made.”

I didn’t close the door as I left, I knew I was going to check on her again later but for now I couldn’t be in there. The way things had happened I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that that was how she was going to look like after she died. I sat down on the couch and hung my head in my hands, I didn’t want to have to go through with it but I had no other choice, if the decision I made for her left her hurting more I could never forgive myself. Sam had to understand that. It was a shitty situation but all I could do was continue the way she wanted. If (y/n) came up to me and told me she didn’t want to die I would fight as hard as I could for her, but until I heard the words come from her lips I couldn’t make that decision.

It was then my phone decided to ring and I picked it up quickly noticing the caller I.D. “Whatcha got Bobby?”

“ _I can’t seem to find anything that could help us protect this girl._ ” His voice was rough and tired and my guess was he had yet to get a decent sleep since we left.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear. Have you found anything else?” I asked as I ran a hand over my face glancing back towards (y/n)’s room.

“ _No, the only thing I can say is run with her and ward yourselves from everything._ ”

“I can’t take the risk of them finding her if we do run, besides I don’t think that would be good for her,” I sighed and shook my head. “You should have seen her when I killed the demon, honestly I was scared I had killed her by doing it.”

There was silence on the other side of the line before Bobby spoke “ _That had to have been hard on you son, I’m sorry to hear that._ ” he let out a breath and I closed my eyes.

“She’s been passed out since then, and to top it off now I have Sam telling me she doesn’t want to die,” I ran a hand over my face again. “Keep looking, if you find any solid leads let me know, until then… all I can do is go with the deal I made.” I heard Bobby let out a long sigh.

“ _I’ll keep searching, just don’t be cruel to her._ ”

“I doubt I could do it,” I let out a humourless chuckle. “Talk to you later Bobby.” And with that I hung up, throwing my phone on the couch and resting my forehead on my hands.

I never should have made the deal with her but I couldn’t back out. The only thing that scared me was at the rate things were happening she might not make it after bringing Sam back. She seemed to be wearing herself out more and more, from what I had seen, and now I was able to see Sam whenever we had any contact regardless of if she was awake or not. I didn’t know much about witches, never liked them and only wanted to know how to kill them, but this girl, she wasn’t like the monsters I hunted. She didn’t deserve what was happening to her and there was nothing I could do to try to save her from her fate, all I could do was bring her closer to death. Why was I never able to help the people I wanted to save? Sam is dead because I wasn’t able to get to him in time and now here I am about to kill someone who doesn’t deserve it. 

“What have I gotten myself into?” I muttered to myself before getting ready for bed, I might as well rest while I could, not knowing if we’d be able to leave for Lawrence tomorrow. The quicker we got there the sooner Sammy would be back but that also meant it would be time for me to hold up my end of our deal. I shook my head at the thought before rolling over on the bed, there was no use worrying about that now, and I slowly fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up groaning and had to rub out the kinks in my neck before getting up and heading to the kitchen to start some coffee, sleep came without any difficulty but I didn’t feel refreshed, memories of the night before had played over and over in my head as I slept. (Y/n)’s scream permanently stuck in my head as I watched and I could do nothing to help her. After starting the coffee I walked to her room, wanting to check on her, she looked peaceful and better than she did the night before, my only worry was if she was actually doing better. Walking into the room I rested my hand on her forehead, feeling a slight tingle as I did.

“She hasn’t woken up since last night.” I jumped a bit hearing Sam speak up from the corner of the room.

“Well I don’t blame her, I’m sure she’s sore and drained from what happened yesterday. Convulsing like that isn’t exactly fun.” I turned towards him, keeping my hand on her forehead as I did, and he rolled his eyes.

“No shit Dean,” He shook his head before focusing his gaze on her and a wave of sadness washed over her face. “She… She told me there was a strong chance of me remembering all of this eventually after I’m brought back,” he spoke slowly and I focused on him as he continued. “How am I supposed to be ok after that, knowing I was supposed to be dead and someone like her had to die for me to be brought back?” I had to look away from Sam as he spoke.

“You learn to live with it,” I offered looking down towards (Y/n). “All you can do is try to make it mean something. I felt the same way when the Reaper gave me life, you just have to go on… because if you don’t then you wasted the life that was taken from them,” I closed my eyes before gritting my teeth. “Besides it’s not you that is killing her, its me.” I got up and walked out of the room, this time closing the door behind me as I left. 

It was silent before I started to pour myself a cup of coffee and I heard a door open before turning around and seeing (Y/n) leaving her room and coming towards me, I sighed handing her the cup of coffee before pouring another for myself as she moved to the small table. “How are you feeling?” she jumped slightly at my words before looking back towards me.

“Fine I guess,” she rubbed her arm looking towards the living room as she did. “I healed myself a bit, I had quite the headache when I woke up. Must have hit my head pretty hard…” she trailed off and silence filled the room and she glanced away from me.

”You dropped like a stone,” I spoke before taking a sip of the bitter liquid. “I thought there was another Demon from the way you screamed.” She I watched carefully as she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, she looked so vulnerable, nothing like the girl who had walked into my shop and demanded my help. I looked away from her, it was going to be of no use if I started to get sentimental now.

”I’m sorry, I didn’t expect to react that way,” she shook her head and laughed to herself humorlessly. “Can’t even be around a demon getting killed.” she shook her head before looking back to me and I could see the pain in her eyes. It was obvious she never had any one to talk to about this sort of thing before and I could see her begging me to let her open up, and as much as I wanted to do that for her, to help ease her suffering, I had to look away. 

”So, we have the blood and ashes, what next?”

”We just need the body,” I looked away as she spoke, taking another sip of the bitter liquid. “Everything else needs to be done there and I have to perform the spell.” There was a tension in the room as she finished and I could only imagine what Sam was probably saying to her in her silence.

”Then we should get moving,” My voice was colder than I would have liked but I had to figure out what I was going to do. The last few days had been the best I had had in a long time, and I had to make a decision if I was going to allow it to end or if I was going to fight to keep it. “We leave in 20.” I turned my back without waiting for her to answer.

* * *

POV Switch

Dean left the room quickly and with a hard look on his face, and I quickly stood to go and gather the few things I had while Sam followed behind me silently until the door closed behind me.

”You need to let him know how scared you are (Y/n), because he will help you if you ask him too,” I stayed silent with my back turned to him as I changed and packed before he sighed. “You both are helpless you know that, both of you don’t want to go through this because it’s wrong but neither of you are speaking to the other about it.” I turned towards him as he let out another sigh, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

”Even if that is the case, asking him to help me escape would be a death sentence for Dean,” I kept my voice low so the man in question wouldn’t be able to hear while I wrapped my arms around myself for some sort of comfort. “If word got out he was helping me, he would be worse off than me and I know the things my family would do to him, I can’t let that happen…” I looked at Sam but he looked more conflicted that I had ever seen, it was obvious he was at war with himself and the conflicting emotions between all of us before I sighed. “I can’t let him be put in that position, no matter what happens I don’t know if any of us will be safe from them, if this works how I planned it should be alright,” I picked up my bag and walked over to him, focusing my power in to my arms as I leaned into Sam and wrapped my arms around him. “I know it’s cruel to say this but I hope you can talk to Dean when you remember everything and tell him how much it means to me that he was willing to do this, to help a _monster_ like me. I don’t care what happens to me but at least the two of you will be safe.” I could feel the sadness wash over Sam as he wrapped his arms around me before a knock sounded at the door.

”I’m going to go and pull the car around front, come down when you are ready.” Dean’s voice was even, but there was a slight coldness to it before I heard the door open and close to the hall before pulling away from Sam.

I walked silently out into the main area of the room, quickly glancing around before grabbing the room cards and heading towards the front desk and pay for the room. Just as promised Dean had the car pulled up and running as I walked out of the hotel and threw my bag in the back seat before getting into the car. It remained silent as we drove out of the city and the tension in the air was pliable, even Sam stayed quiet much to my surprise, and I looked out the window committing the sights to memory as we reached the highway.

”Where are we headed?” I asked and Dean glanced at me as we passed the city limits before turning back to the road.

”Lawrence.” I nodded before looking back out the window and leaning back into the seat as I settled in for the drive.

The ride was mostly silent until we started to get closer to Sam told me stories of growing up and the few times he had been back to his place of birth, and it was only when there was a hunt they had returned to the town, but he had spoken fondly of those occasions. You smiled to yourself as he spoke, resisting the urge to take one of Deans hands as to listen to the stories as well, but I had a feeling it was only going to make things worse.

” **Missouri, a psychic we met on a case involving our old house, lives in Lawrence and nothing got past her, not even thoughts,** ” Sam recounted with a smile in his voice. “ **Before we could even argue with her she was already tearing us a new one or hitting us upside the head telling us to smarten up.** ” he chuckled and I turned my head to look out the window as I did.

” _She sounds lovely, must have been a nice change of pace._ ” It was easier to talk to him now than it originally been and he seemed to be getting stronger the closer we got to Lawrence, because he was closer to his body his soul was getting stronger and it would be easier to bring them together.

” **It was, Dean was picked on by her more than me, but it was only in a loving way. There was no malice from her, only concern.** ” He trailed off and I nodded along.

”We aren’t too far out now,” Dean spoke up causing me to jump slightly at the disturbance and I turned to look at the man while he kept facing the road. “We’ll grab a hotel since it’s going to be a few hours before we can make it over to the grave because of daylight.” He glanced over at me slightly and I nodded before he turned back to the road.

Sam was quiet the rest of the trip and so was everyone else in the car, it was a loaded silence that I did not want to break and to block it I though back to how the last few days had gone by. When I had first set out to find Dean Winchester I never would have thought I would be driving around with him in an effort to bring back his brother. Part of me was happy to have gotten to know the man in such a way but part of me was already mourning the loss of someone I felt could be a friend of mine, just like Bobby Singer. The thought caused me to glance over to Dean once again and I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, the short amount of time I had spent with him made me feel like a person, and made me feel I was worth it, more than my family had ever made me felt, to him I was somebody but to them I was a tool.

I knew all it would take for me to break the deal was to tell him I was scared of dying or that I didn’t want to, but to do that would put us both in danger and it was something I just couldn’t bring myself to do. Before I knew it we were in Lawrence and pulling up to a motel which I presumed was close to the cemetery, and as with the last few places I got out and went to get a room, leaving Dean to grab the bags just as he had done the last few times as well. The clerk was nice enough and gave me a double bed room which I thanked her for before leading Dean over to the room, opening it up and sitting on the edge of the far bed as Dean closed the door behind him and then passed over my own bag.

”I’m going to go out, grab us some food and a couple of shovels for tonight,” Dean spoke up after dropping his bag on the other bed. “You stay here and rest up, we don’t need you over working yourself more than you already have these past few days.” I nodded and watched as he debated with himself if he was going to say anymore before he let out a sigh and offered a quick wave over his shoulder as he left, making sure to close the door behind him as he left.

I layed down on the bed, feeling tears threating to spill over my eyes as I thought about what was going to happen tonight. This was going to be my last few days with the living if everything worked out how I wanted it too, but it was also going to be a new beginning for someone else, and that was something I was going to be proud of. It was with these thought I was able to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

”Hey,” I felt myself being jostled slightly and groaned as I drifted closer to consciousness before Dean spoke again. “Come on it’s time to get up, it’s almost midnight.” I yawned slightly as I rolled over to face the man and rubbed my eyes slightly as I sat up, he gave a light chuckle when I yawned again and passed me a cup of coffee.

”Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” I asked after taking a sip of the warm brew and watched him as he sat on the edge of the other bed facing towards me.

”You looked like you needed it, besides we had to wait around anyway,” He didn’t make eye contact as he spoke, keeping his eyes trained down and avoiding me, something I couldn’t bring myself to do. “Once you feel like you’re good to go we can head over to the cemetery and start digging.” I nodded before quickly finishing the drink and standing up, brushing out the wrinkles in my jeans.

”Let’s go.” Dean nodded, quickly standing himself and grabbing what I knew as his weapons bag and heading out of the room, locking it up before following the man to his car.

It was a quick ride to our destination, and before long we were over the fence and on our way towards Sam’s grave. Dean lead the way quick and precise before stopping in front of one of the tombstones.

”Here we are.” Dean announced before dropping what he was carrying off to the side, I could see the turmoil in his face as he went to reach for the shovel before I grabbed his arm and halted his movement.

”Let me.” I spoke softly as he raised an eyebrow before a motioned him to step back. I knelt at the bottom of the grave placing both hands on the ground as I felt the familiar tingle run through my arms, closing my eyes I focused before felling the ground shift and separate.

This was easy for me, working with the world around me was my specialty and took little effort as I manipulated the ground and pulled the coffin to the surface and soon the coffin was above ground and I pulled my hands back from the soil. Dean stood to the side with a shocked face as I stood and made my way to grab the bag of weapons and began fishing out the supplies I needed for the spell.

I mixed the ashes and goats blood together forming a paste substance before pulling a knife out and cutting my palm deep enough to draw blood and then I began mixing that in as well. The next step was the sigils, on the lid of the coffin I wrote them out watching as the intricate designs begin to glow as I finished each of them before setting my palm in the center of the coffin and calling out to Sam’s soul with my power. I closed my eyes as the sigils grew too bright to look at and I felt my power grow and tingle through my body as I spoke out to Sam’s soul once again feeling it grow stronger before attaching itself to the body in the coffin. Stepping back I felt my power drain and a new source of life from within the wooden box raised my hand up to my head as the top of the coffin flipped open and a gasp was heard from inside.

Sam was quick to sit up reaching for his chest, where I presume he was originally wounded, before looking around franticly. I stood back watching the panic and pain flash through his eyes before he spotted Dean who was still rooted to the same spot before Sam began pulling himself out of the coffin and trying to stand up before his eyes rolled back in his head and he started to drop. Dean and I both rushed forward to catch the man as he fell, and I grunted as I struggled to support his weight.

”What’s wrong with him?” Dean yelled as we lowered the much taller man to the ground, I placed my hand on Sam’s chest feeling a faint heart beat and closed my eyes.

”He’s just Shocked and tired,” I opened my eyes to look into Deans, there were tears starting to form on the edge of his eyes and I could see how scared he was for the younger man before I pulled my hand off of Sam’s chest and grabbed Dean’s to replace it. “His heart is strong and he’s going to be alright,” I smiled at the man before Dean looked down at his brother, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath before lowering his head and letting out a sob. I pulled my hand away as I felt tears begin to fall from my own eyes and looked back to the coffin. I placed my hands on the ground and watched as the ground reclaimed it once again, and all the evidence of us being here was gone. “We should get moving, I’m sure it would be more comfortable for Sam if we take him back to the motel.”

Dean nodded before swinging one of Sam’s arms over his shoulder in a move I knew was practiced over the years while I grabbed the other in an attempt to help. Standing up made me feel dizzy but I pushed through it to help Dean take Sam back to the car, helping get Sam into the backseat before pulling away and heading back to the motel. I stayed in the back, resting Sam’s head on my legs while I kept an eye on him to make sure he was still ok. Before long we were back at the motel and I was once again helping Dean pull Sam out of the car and into the room, setting him down on the bed before I closed the door and locked it. It was as I turned to face the room Dean wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him and holding me as close as he could.

”Thank you.” The words were whispered so quietly I had almost missed hearing them, I wrapped my arms around the man savoring the affection as I felt a few wet plops land on my head and leaned into Dean as much as I could, there was a silent shaking from him as he pulled me tighter still to him.

We stood like that for a few minutes before I pulled back slightly and brought my hands up to his face, brushing the fallen tears away as lightly as I could. “You should lay down and get some rest, I’ll keep watch over Sam and let you know if anything happens.” Dean nodded without protest and pulled away slowly before turning towards what was my bed and getting under the covers.

I let out a sigh, thinking he looked more like a child then a hunter, before I walked over to the other bed and sat on the edge. Sam was placed in the middle and had a peaceful expression on his face, something I was glad to see instead of the pain I was used to seeing on the people my family used the spell on. I sat there watching him for hours and glancing over at Dean, before he eventually started to twitch a little and groaned before I moved up the bed. His eyebrows were scrunched together as if he was having a bad dream and I went to brush the hair out of his face from the tossing of his head.

As my skin made contact with his Sam’s eyes burst open and before I knew it I was on my back with the wind knocked out of me and hands squeezing my throat dangerously hard as I tried to take a gasping breath. There was a low growl from Sam as his body hovered over mine, effectively pining me down with little room for escape.

”Who are you!?” It was a low threatening growl that came off Sam’s lips and was filled with venom as my eyes widened, his grip grew tighter with my lack of response before he growled out again. “Who are you and where am I!?”

Instinctively my hands flew to his wrist as he put more pressure onto my neck before I faltered slightly. Here I was, as close as I have been to death and all I had to do was not fight.

It was hard to fight the instinct to throw him off of me but I was able to do it for the most part, each little jerk I made or twitch caused the grip on my throat to tighten light a boa constrictor. I could hear my heat beat in my ears and my head began to hurt at the lack of blood flow, but I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker as the seconds slowly ticked by.

I was finally dying and I could feel the dark numbness taking hold and I did nothing to fight its sweet embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once aging I thank you all for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it and let me know what you think.


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